ALL CONTRIBUTIONS CONSIDERED AS PERSONAL COMMENTS; USUAL DISCLAIMERS APPLY. Relevant contributions may appear in the RISKS section of regular issues of ACM SIGSOFT's SOFTWARE ENGINEERING NOTES, unless you state otherwise.
Date: Mon, 04 Nov 91 20:34:19 EST From: Gene Spafford (spafcs.purdue.edu)
Subject: Don't bank on computer viruses! [WWN strikes again!]
We've heard all about the usual stealth computer viruses and "armored" viruses that are being written these days. It seems that in some places the writing of nasty viruses has become a national pasttime. Some of these authors delight in finding new methods of damage and camouflage. The problem has mainly been for IBM PCs, and the most sophisticated virus-writing has been in Bulgaria and the USSR.
Now, however, we have a new and far worse problem from South America, according to the November 12th issue of the "Weekly World News." [This is the "newspaper" you may find at supermarket checkout lines with the kind of headlines you don't see in the more mainstream media. Obviously, a conspiracy by the mainstream media. The November 12th issue is headlined with "Ohio Woman has a 3rd Eye -- in the back of her head!"]
On page 7, there is an article by one Sally O'Day, "special to the WWN," and entitled: "Demon Computer Kills 2 Workers!" It is subtitled "Exorcist called in after experts discover virus-bred evil spirit!"
The article goes on to explain how a computer system installed in a bank in Valparaiso, Chile is possessed by a demon. A consultant from the computer company that installed the system claims that it must be the result of a virus installing an evil demon that has caused:
"Observers to see a hideous horned demon appear on the screen anyone who tries to turn off the machine to black out and fall to the floor Carmen de la Fuente to have a fatal heart attack within 2 minutes of sitting down at the terminal Maria Catalan to be found sitting at the terminal with her head in her lap [decapitated, I presume, rather than a contortionist] a computer expert to began babbling like a madman when he got within 10 feet of the terminal"
This brings up many interesting questions: -- How long before commercial anti-virus vendors start advertising that their products work against this type of virus? Does the exorcism ritual end with extinguishing the candle, closing the book, and sounding the BEL? Could this actually be the result of using Ada rather than a virus? Do you know any computer experts who don't begin to babble when within 10 feet of a computer? Does normal business insurance cover an exorcism? Maybe it's a Unix system and this is the first time they've seen the sendmail daemon? Will Fred Cohen allow this to be entered in his virus-writing contest?
Or, it could be that Ms. O'Day has recently seen the movie "Evilspeak"? [If you have yet to see the movie, rush right out and rent it. Lay in a supply of beer and pizza, and invite the neighbors over. It is a classic wherein a nerdy Ken Howard (Ron's little brother -- the one who used to hang out with Gentle Ben) summons up the devil on an Apple II computer. He should have guessed something was amiss when he started getting Stardent-level graphics on his little Apple, and when it started demanding blood sacrifices. The credits include mention of the "stunt demons" and "Satan's Sows." Not to be missed.]
Hey, it must be true if they printed it, right? :-)
[It is astounding how they manage to recycle old stories. The basics of this appeared years ago in WWN, 3 March 1987 (see RISKS-4.50, 23 February 1987, <ahead of its time!>, and Softw.Eng.Notes April 1987, vol.12, no. 2, p.14), and has now been embroidered by WWN to suit the virus craze. I run this item here to demonstrate the hokeyness of WWN's reporting. PGN] •
WORLD ORDERS
Readers,
We don't know where this came from, it's recent, and to the point. We present it to you in it's entierty.
I. Bad Invasions, Old World Order
Syria invades Lebanon (1976)
Vietnam invades Cambodia (1978)
U.S.S.R. invades Afghanistan (1979)
Argentina invades Falklands (Malvinas) (1982)
Lybia invades Chad (1983)
II. Good Invasions, Old World Order
China Invades Vietnam (1979)
Iraq invades Iran (1980)
Israel invades Lebanon (1982)
U.S. invades Grenada (1983)
III. Bad Invasions, New World Order
Iraq invades Kuwait (1990)
IV. Good Invasions, New World Order
U.S. invades Panama (1989)
U.S.S.R. invades itself (1991)
U.S. et al. invade Kuwait (1991)
U.S. et al. invade Iraq (1991, est)
V. Bad Hitlers, Old World Order
Muammar el-Qaddafi
Mikhail Gorbachev
Hafez al-Assad
Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini
Daniel Ortega
VI. Good Hitlers, Old World Order
Ferdinand Marcos
Manual Noreiga
Saddam Hussein
Augusto Pinochet
Deng Xiaoping
VII. Bad Hitlers, New World Order
Ferdinand Marcos
Manual Noreiga
Saddam Hussein
Augusto Pinochet
VIII.Good Hitlers, New World Order
Mikhail Gorbachev
Hafez al-Assad
Deng Xiaoping
IX. Bad U.N. Security Council Resolutions, Old and New World Orders
